Johnny Umuzungu Goes Bananas

There was a really interesting article in the Smithsonian magazine a while back about bananas. Dr. Lucy gets the magazine and she thought that I would be interested. She was right. Turns out, the bananas that we eat are an ancient mutant. The original banana is inedible and full of seeds. I always ate bananas and thought that those little black specs in the middle were seeds. Oh no. Those are the traces of where the seeds should be. Turns out that about 2000 years B.C. a banana without seeds was discovered and every banana that we have ever eaten was a cousin or so from that original one.

Grafting took place that spread the edible banana all around the world. By the early 1900's, there were two main varieties. One was wiped out in the 50's. Since then, every banana in every store has been a clone of each other. Without cross-pollination, the genetic variation just doesn't exist. As a result, different plant diseases come along that cause big problems. Being clones, if one plant gets sick, they all can get sick. There was a fungus in the 50's the not only wiped out an entire line of bananas, but still contaminates the soil of many tropical regions making it impossible for some old banana plantations to ever grow bananas again.

Now there seems to be a new fungus that is threatening the current tasty treat. Evidently, scientists around the world are on a quest to cross pollinate ancient wild bananas with the modern edible variety and come up with a new hybrid that has the edible characteristics of the modern commercial banana and retains the fungus resistance of the original inedible one. Who knew?

The other day while looking for four-leaf clovers in the back yard, I noticed a banana on the ground that was full of seeds.


These things are the size of marbles. I picked up all of the bananas that had fallen from our old lawn ornament and washed out 868 seeds just for kicks. I now have a pile in my office that I am not sure what to do with.

Anyway, I got to thinking. I have a buddy that grows some bananas on his land up by the volcanoes. We have 10 old banana trees that are the hearty inedible kind. I have learned when they produce pollen and when pollination takes place. My buddy is going to let me rent a few of his trees that are of the improved variety. The next time that one of our traditional trees produces pollen, we are going to collect the pollen and use it on some of his trees. I will buy all of the bananas that are produced and eat until I bust or find a seed. It won't be easy. One plantation in Central America searched through 40 tons of cross-pollinated bananas and found 8 seeds. They produced a hearty banana that isn't tasty enough to market. I can't let those odds stop me. I am optimistic that someday, instead of a "Chiquita" you'll be in the Piggly Wigggly buying a bunch of "Johnny Umuzungu's" and the rest, as they say, will be history. Or not.